Service and Love

Yesterday morning my little Oliver called me from his crib.  He told me his tummy was hurting.  I snuggled him into bed with me (and Natalie...she had nightmares) and we all tried to go back to sleep for a few more minutes.  I happened to look over and noticed Ollie looked really green.  I scooped him up and ran him into the bathroom as fast as I could.  We barely made it to the sink before he threw up.  It was so sad.  I could tell he didn't know what was happening.  I cried.  He cried.

I let him watch a movie while I got the girl's ready for school and then we spent the day alternating between snuggling and rushing to the bathroom.  We had a very traumatic trip to the grocery store for crackers and liquids that included two yucky car throw-ups and me carrying a limp baby around the store while trying to push a cart!  I had to call Cord for emotional support.  It was so overwhelming.

When we got home and settled again, my poor little Ollie was completely worn out.  I held him on my lap and we watched Mickey Mouse together.  After awhile, he slowly drifted off to sleep in my arms.  I held him for almost two hours.  I watched him breath and brushed his soft skin with my hands.  I wiped his sweaty hair off his forehead and calmed him down when he got restless.  I felt so helpless watching him suffer even as he dreamed.

After his nap, we had one last trip to the bathroom and then I was able to get some Ibuprofen to stay down in his tummy.  It was a huge turning point.  He drank some Ginger Ale and ate a few pretzel sticks.  He smiled.  He was able to hold his body up on his own.  My baby came back to health in front of my eyes.  It was such a relief.

Being a mom is so hard sometimes.  When my kids are sick, I feel sick.  My heart hurts.  I can hardly stand it.  Seeing Oliver so listless and miserable was torture.

This morning, Oliver called me from his crib.  I went in to get him and carried him back into bed with me to snuggle.  After we got settled under the covers, he leaned forward and kissed my forehead softly and said, "I love you mommy."

It was beautiful.

I realized that love is kinda that way.  It is good and it is bad.  It brings so much joy and so much pain.  When I care so much about my little babies it opens me up for so much emotion.  It is worth it though.  It is so worth it.

All the service I give my family, comes back to me magnified.  The more love I show them, the more they love me back.  So, I'll keep on giving and giving.  Those kisses are worth it.